***No pyro goes off as we begin this week in NEW. Riot is on the air...as we zoom in to our announce duo of Golden Geoff Jordan, and Professor Eric Miles. There is no announce table, just Miles and Jordan on what appear to be old dining room chairs...***
GJ: Welcome folks to our second show. As you can see the production values for this week are down. We've got alot of guys on the payroll who aren't showing up for work.
EM: As a result of their FRAUD...we are severely lacking funds. We couldn't afford to fly certain people on the payroll in. We couldn't even afford to pay for two hours of broadcasting. As a result, we're going with a short program, highlight reels, and full matches, we couldn't even afford a Sunday slot...here we are on TUESDAY!?!?!? We can't even have the other half bracket to the tag tournament...so the winners tonight meet next week for the titles. Shall we begin?
GJ: Let's go to the tape...first this from Axel Reed...
***The scene opens up outside of the NEW arena. Walking around the parking lot is the most idolized man in ALL of professional wrestling. He dark brow eyes peer directly into the camera as he speaks.***
Reed: Well, Ursa, tonight is the night. The winner of this match will more than likely go on to win the NEW World Heavyweight title next week, but the question everybody wants to know .... WHO will win? Honestly, I already know who it's going to be. It is going to be noneother then ...
***Dramatic pause ...***
Reed: ME! Yes, that's right. EVERYBODY thinks you will be the one to walk out tonight victorious but I must digress. I've been placed in WAY more difficult situations in the past ... and similar to this one, I WILL overcome it. I'm hated by every single last man in the NEW lockeroom AND front office, will I let them stop me? Hell no. Odds of this sort are insurmountable ... but I'm Axel Reed, oh there's you're chance at lame humor Ursa ... Yes, REED as in REED a book! Moron. If there is one man who can overcome these sort of odds, am I not that person?
***Axel let's off a big confident grin as he picks himself up off the bench and peers across the NEW parking lot at the many vehicles throughout.***
Reed: Of course I am. Bring on Ursa Major and his scarred up lunatic pal Booboo and watch me destroy both of them.
***Axel's head slowly turns towards the camera as his eyes narrow just slightly.***
Reed: Ursa Major, I've heard you spout many times in the past how "Evil is thy name". Well, THY name is Axel Reed ... and I've seen your attempts at "evil acts". (scoffs) Kid stuff. Watch and learn. Aloha, gentlemen.
***Axel turns away in order to walk towards the arena when suddenly a small Asian
man in a business suit wearing big thick glasses and a top hat, the other two following him, two very large men with carrying baseball bats. Meanwhile a smirk appears across his lips.***
Short man: MISTER AZAL!
***The three men approach Axel Reed.***
Reed: Oh brother, hello Mr. Lee. To what do I owe the honor?
Mr. Lee: You know perfectly well why I am here, Mister Azal, you have yet to pay back the money you owe me. I understand you make considerable sum now, Mister Azal, now that you are in new federation.
Reed: Mister Lee, if you recall, the judge threw your case out, I don't owe you a dime anymore. That's legal, even back home in Japan.
Mr. Lee: Korea, Mister Azal, not JA-PAN!
Reed: Whatever.
Mr. Lee: I don't care what paid-off corrupt judge say! You still owe me considerable sum, tonight you make considerable sum, I expect payment plus interest and my men are here to collect.
***Axel looks up at the two men on opposite sides of Mr. Lee who are holding baseball bats over their shoulders with one hand chains in the other hands.***
Reed: Yes, they are pretty big. But let's make one thing clear, Mister Lee, according to the courts, I don't have to pay you anything and that's good enough for me. Now you, and your big boys here, better not even THINK about laying a finger on me ... or my new motorcycle!
***Axel points with his thumb over his shoulder towards a shiny motorcycle in the V.I.P. parking section with a Bear logo on the side and a licence plate which reads "Ursa Major" above the rear.***
Reed: Now, am I clear, Mister Lee? I love that bike and if you so much as go near it, I'll sue your ass faster then you can say "Egg Foo Young"!
Mr. Lee: ***looking obviously agitated*** Egg Foo Young is CHINESE, Mr. Azal, Korean DIFFERENT!
Reed: Whatever.
***As Axel walks past Mr. Lee and his henchmen, Lee points to the bike and waves his men along.***
Reed: You know, sometimes I really love myself.
***Axel followed by the cameraman, walk through the NEW arean's side doors as a loud "CRASH" is heard in the background, not unlike a glass windshield being smashed in. Fade back to the arena.***
***The tape shows Ray Hagan greeting Steve Carey to tell him that due to Scotty Blaze and Dan Martely not being flown in, the Outpatients advance in the tournament. It then fades, poorly, to Hagan telling Chris Romance that Marcus Knight is nowhere to be found...and that he has also won. Romance tells Hagan he wanted to kick some ass tonight. So someone is going down...***
EM: There you have it, the Outpatients move on...
***Prerecorded footage shows Jack Paine taking on The Superstar, the match is back and forth until suddenly who should appear from the back but Chris Romance! With chair in hand he enters the ring. Jack Paine is attempting the Breakdown Romance delivers a chair shot to the back of the head. As Superstar extends his hand, Romance levels him as well.
Result: Double DQ***
GJ: Jack Paine with a chance to win, but Romance does the damage.
EM: Next!
GJ: Let's take it to the New Hope Retirement Home string orchestra for their rendition of Shock by Fear Factory...
***The band plays as a confused Andrew Krumm and Syko head to the ring...***
EM: We can't afford music licenses either...
***They play I want Candy as Luni and Jarred Matthews make their way to the ring...***
GJ: We're underway...
EM: Andrew Krumm with a picture perfect armdrag and twist on the arm of Jarred Matthews, and now follows up with a driving elbow to the shoulder of Matthews.
GJ: Matthews down on one knee now. Krumm yanks the arm...and now makes a tag to Syko...
EM: Syko up top...DIVING PLANCHA ON THE EXPOSED ARM OF JARRED MATTHEWS!
GJ: And the few fans in this arena are on their feet. SYKO WITH A LEGDROP NOW...he forces Matthews back to the corner calling for Luni to get in the ring!
EM: There is the tag! Luni in...from the top...headscissor takeover on Syko...Syko rolls to the floor, Luni coming QUEBRADA OVER THE TOP FINDS NOTHING BUT FLOOR!
GJ: NO! NO! DAMMIT!
EM: Syko has stolen my partner's chair...
GJ: AND NOW IT'S BROKEN OVER THE HEAD OF LUNI!
EM: But you have no chair.
GJ: No replacement?
EM: Budget cuts.
GJ: Syko now up to the top bringing Luni with him...TOP ROPE BRAINBUSTER!
EM: Syko drags the limp Luni to the middle of the ring...810 splash! Matthews coming in, Krumm cuts him off with a Power Outage!
GJ: Cover...
1...
2...
3...
It's OVER!
EM: Shock Therapy with a great win tonight. And now we move on to a match involving El Dorado taking on Anthony Rydel...first these words from Anthony...
***Fade to the back of the arena...***
Anthony: You people have no shame, do you?
***The camera shakes from side to side, indicating a "no". This brings a slight
chuckle to Anthony's lips. He stretches for a few moments before sitting down on
a bench, indicating the camera person to set across from him.***
Anthony: One more match. One more victory. It's really as simple as that to mean.
The Golden Boy El Dorado may be, but I've seen far better in many many places. And
as my friend Darren so eloquently put it I've put away better in under three minutes.
This match is not any different to me. It's simply me, the "green rookie", clawing
my way to the top.
***Anthony shrus getting up and beginning to stretch once more.***
Anthony: Chris Romance's unstoppable quest was stopped by Axel Reed last week.
I guess it's my turn to stop The Guilded Man. ***Pause*** Long winded speeches
aren't my thing. I'll save that for guys like El Dorado and Axel Reed. So, I guess
it's bye for now.
***Again the scene cuts to loud static before fading to black.***
***The in house orchestra blares the strains of Forgot about ED as Dorado and 24 Karats make their way to the ring...***
GJ: THAT'S CHRIS ROMANCE BEHIND DORADO! CHAIR SHOT ON DORADO!!!
EM: No, Chris, don't do this, not even that inexpensive harlot deserves...
GJ: ROMANTIC'S TOUCH!!!!!!!!! ON 24 KARATS!!! CHRIS ROMANCE IS GONE...DORADO IS CHECKING ON HIS SIGNIFICANT OTHER!!! This is insane, and here comes Anthony Rydel! They are carting 24 Karats to the back, and now Rydel is firing away on The Golden One! Series of right hands from Rydel...
EM: Dorado with a block of that one...
GJ: And a right of his own, another, another, another is blocked...SIDE RUSSIAN LEGSWEEP! ROLLING NECK SNAP! INVERTED ROLLING NECK SNAP!!! He's got Dorado up...SWINGING NECKBREAKER...and a HANGMAN'S NECKBREAKER FOR GOOD MEASURE! What technical precision by Anthony Rydel.
EM: Brilliant, simply breathtaking.
GJ: Rydel now picks up The Golden One...wait a damn minute!!! Romance is wheeling 24 Karats back to the ring!!! Dorado sees him!!! Elbow for Rydel...Dorado is about to...INVERTED DDT!!! Dorado is down...and There's the PACIFIC DEATH GRIP ON DORADO...HE'S TAPPING OUT! Rydel releases the hold...Romance back up the aisle, and Dorado wheeling 24 K to the back!
EM: Revenge from Romance plain and simple. And it was done PERFECTLY.
GJ: We're down to the final match in this one hour program, it's Ursa Major vs. Axel Reed.
***The orchestra once again begins with the strains of Ursa Smooth by Santana***
GJ: Here comes the great bear, looking ready as always tonight.
EM: Against one tough customer in Axel Reed...Axel out of the crowd as Ursa is removing his robe and Axel drags him right in!
GJ: The few hundred fans in attendance have gathered right around this area as Axel delivers a shot with what appears to be a janitor's mop!
EM: Wait a minute...
GJ: Someone has come to the announce table, it's Chris Romance...he's got that steel chair that he's put around the heads of Jack Paine and El Dorado with him. HEY! How the hell did you get a chair!?!?!?!
CR: I brought my own...call the damn action...
GJ: Axel Reed is taking over on Ursa Major in the crowd! Ursa is rocked ... and Reed clotheslines him over the guard rail! Ursa is struggling back to his feet, and Axel springs to the top of the guard rail and flies forward and hook Ursa with a Jumping DDT!
CR: I don't like him, he got a lucky win over yours truly in this big tourney, but he came up big there. Nice move by Axel.
EM: I agree Chris...
GJ: Axel picks Ursa up and he's dragging him to the ring...
EM : Ursa up as Axel comes in...he whips Reed into the corner... Reed EXPLODES out with a POWERFUL clothesline!!!
GJ : Ursa doesn't know where he is after that...
EM : Reed to the second rope... BIG elbow...
GJ : Ursa gets a boot up, and Reed gets a taste of bear-skin!!!
EM : Reed down, and his mouth looks bloodied...
GJ : Ursa staggers to his feet... he's measuring Reed for the big elbow...
EM : Ursa connects, with ANOTHER blow to the mouth of Reed...
GJ : Looks like Ursa might be sending a message!
EM : Ursa is ON FIRE!!!
GJ : If Reed knows what's good for him, he'll head for the back, and never come back!!!
EM : a LEFT to the gut... a right... ANOTHER right!! The ref, warning Ursa about the closed fist...
GJ : BIG chop to the jaw, and Reeds dentist has GOT to be in heaven tonight...
EM : Ursa whips Reed into the ropes...
GJ ; leapfrog by Reed... now Ursa... Reed staggered, takes a swing at Ursa... URSA DUCKS... Sleeper!!!
EM : Reed in the sleeper, right in the middle of the ring, and Ursa is CINCHING it in...
GJ : Reed fighting for air...
EM : Ursa, bracing himself against Reeds attempt to reach the ropes...
GJ : Reed starting to lose it... he sends an elboy back, but he doesn't have enough left to unsettle the Great Bear...
EM : The ref checking the hand... 1... 2..NO! Reed fighting back...
GJ : Ursa leverages Reed over his hip, and DROPS him face first to the mat...
EM : Ursa quick to his feet... into the rope... BIG knee to the lower back of the exhausted Reed!
GJ : Ursa QUICKLY locking in the ankles... STF!!!!
EM : NO! Not an STF... what IS that???
GJ : I don't know... he's got the ankle lock, but instead of pulling back on the head, he's GRIPPING Axel's cheeks, and PULL... oh! Man, he's gonna RIP Axels mouth open!!!
EM : The ref, not sure if this is legal or not...it's NOT! Ask ME!
GJ : The ref, asking the Professor a question...LOOK!!! Reed is TAPPING OUT!!! NO! The ref is calling off Ursa!!! Ursa releases the move... but he doesn't seem to upset by it...
Ref : LAdies and gentlemen, it has been determined that Ursa Major was using a Mongolian Terror-Claw... this move was made illegal in America in 1927... the tap will NOT count!!! The match WILL continue...
GJ : Ursa applauding The Professor for his knowledge...
CR: I knew that it wasn't legal too. They could have asked me. I am the future NEW World Champion.
GJ: You're out of the tournament...
CR: Did I ask you?
EM: No you didn't. I like this man Mr. Jordan, don't you?
CR: Thank you Eric. He asked you a question Geoff...
GJ: He's great. Axel struggling to get back to his feet. Right hand by Reed...
BLOCKED
Ursa returns a right...
Reed again with a right...
BLOCKED
Ursa returns a right...
Reed with a third, Ursa ducks...BELLY TO BACK...EWWWWWWW REED JUST LANDED A RIGHT INTO THE NOSE OF URSA!!! There is blood everywhere...both Axel and Ursa pouring blood onto the canvas.
EM: He's very excitable isn't he?
CR: VERY...
GJ: Ursa to his feet, Axel has him up...This could be it...STRAIGHT TO HELL!!! NO!!! URSA BLOCKED IT!!! NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX!!!! Cover...
1...
2...
WHAT IN THE HELL!?!?!?!?
CR: OH SHIT!?!?!?!
EM: Here comes El Dorado with a baseball bat! How Crude...The official checking on Reed as Ursa gets to his feet...Romance slides into the ring...he's between an Ursa and a hard place...Romance with a swing at Ursa...Ursa ducks...he's got Romance...
GJ: OH NO!!!!!! Romance ducked...DORADO CAUGHT URSA SQUARE WITH THAT BAT!!! Romance out of the ring...Dorado looking at Ursa and now gives chase to Romance...Axel covers Ursa...
1...
2...
3...I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!!
EM: Axel is celebrating but Ursa is up! BAT SHOT TO REED! He's got the mic...
UM: Dorado...that was an accident what just happened to me. What I do to you WON'T BE!
GJ: We're out of time!!!
Next Week
Main Event
World Title/North American Title
Axel Reed vs. Anthony Rydel
Mid Card
World Tag Team Championship
Shock Therapy vs. The Outpatients
Singles Action
Suspended Cage...
Ursa Major vs. Dan Martely
Singles Battles
Chris Romance vs. The Superstar
El Dorado vs. Jarred Matthews